October 8, 2009

Be Careful What You Wish For: The Curse of the 12-inch Heels

"Oh my little beauties, how I want to take you home right now"...That's what I would usually say whenever I see a pair of sky high heels.  I would wear high heels, all day, every day, if I could, just like your favorite local Mariah Carey clone (but less crazy and more bitchy). I can routinely wear 4 or even 5-inch pumps and walk to the subway without difficulty.

I usually love McQueen's designs, but THIS? What is THIS, Mr. Alexander McQueen? 12 inches? What am I ? An expensive Drag Queen Hooker? How can I even glide from my -rented- limo to my decrepit apartment building? Do I need to hire a personal assistant to carry me around too? I'm just a woman (albeit an awesome one) . I can't wear this!

I understand these shoes have fairly high platforms but they are so high that you could lose your balance very easily. So, in my view, they are even dangerous. Not the same danger as Lisamarie's cooking, but you could end up in hospital, just the same.

I read a while ago that the crazy high heels trend would go away. Well, it has not gone anywhere. In fact, it's still lingering around like the roaches in my building. Still there, even when you think they are gone.

On top of all that, these designs are not particularly attractive, they look like shoes for special needs, you know, in all seriousness. With growing sparkly fungus. Eek.

I say: high heels, yes. Stilts, no!


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