October 1, 2009

Why Vintage Clothes are for The Crazy Old Cat Lady

I love Dior's New Look from the 50's, I adore the mini dresses from the 60's and 70's accessories but I loathe, loathe, loathe vintage stores. Can I say LOATHE one more time?

"Vintage" clothes do not belong on the backs of cool kids, they belong in the crazy cat lady's closet.

1 - Vintage clothing stores smell like nursing homes
Last year, I paid a visit to the Clothing Show in Toronto, looking for new local designers. Unfortunately, half the showroom was filled with "vintage" collections and by "vintage", I mean: smelly old rags. The stench was noticeable and I mercifully thanked the air conditioning gods to spare me further distress. Some crazy lady wanted me to vote for the best rag, err... I mean "vintage" outfit. I excused myself and left as fast a I could, fearing hundreds of moths, tired of eating the same outfit since 1952, would attack me.
The few stores I have visited in Toronto, somewhere on Queen Street, have not fared any better in terms of scent. So the question is...why would I want to wear something that already smells foul? Only a crazy cat lady would like that because she's used to the smell of urine.

2 - Vintage clothes are overpriced arts and crafts projects
I get the whole recycling thing. Recycling is good, I hear. Using older clothes to make new designs sounds like a neat idea. But, let me get this straight: sewing old pieces of clothes together should not cost more than creating new clothes. Someone is getting ripped off here. And it's not me. If you want to play the whole "ethical" and "green" themes, I'd rather buy clothes made with sustainable fabrics or made locally.
Again, only a cat lady would be crazy enough to buy overpriced arts and crafts projects.

3 - Vintage clothes are old news
So many stores sell bad second hand clothes and call them "vintage", when really the pieces shown were not that spectacular 20 years ago. So why would they be spectacular now? Unless you're buying Chanel, do you really think your 80's clothes were all that great?
Only a cat lady would be crazy enough to spend money on old unfashionable clothes.

I rest my case: Vintage Clothes are for Crazy Old Cat Ladies.


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